Hart of the Matter (A Love of the Game Novella) Read online

  She sat slowly and Beck’s eyes landed on her. He looked feverish. Placing her palm on his forehead, he leaned into the touch in a way that could only be perceived as sensual.

  “Beck, I think you’re sick. You’re really hot.”

  “You’re really hot, too, Bai…”

  “Beck!” Hart yelled and stood unsteadily. Walking toward them, he gently grasped Bailey’s upper arm and tugged her to her feet. “Sleep it off, dude. Don’t leave the house. Do you understand me, Beck? Don’t leave the house for any reason.”

  Focusing on Hart’s face with effort, he swallowed hard. “Where’s Harley?”

  “She’s with my folks. She’ll be back but you need to sober up before she gets here.” He held his hand out for the beer. “Sober up, Beck. She’s my little sister.” Beck handed him the bottle.

  “Hart…I love Harley. She’s beautiful and perfect and I love her so much.”

  “I know you do. I know you love her, Beck. Sober up.” Looking in Dex’s direction, he said, “Will you sit with him for a little while?”

  Dex scrubbed his big hands over his head and nodded. “Sure, Hart.”

  Bailey held her tongue until they were in the hallway in front of Hart’s bedroom. Then she yanked her arm out of his hand and turned on him.

  “What the fuck is going on, Hartman? He’s fucking tweaking! What is he on?”

  Crossing her arms over her chest, she waited for the man in front of her to explain how he could leave his sister vulnerable to a man who was obviously a drug addict.

  For a long moment, he simply stared at her. She opened her mouth to chew him out and he kissed her.

  Hart Jamison, the man she’d loved for years, kissed the fuck out of her. He tasted a little like beer but beneath that was the flavor she’d always imagined he would have…specific to him.

  Bailey’s brain short-circuited.

  The feel of his firm, full lips on hers was incredible. His arms wrapped around her waist and he walked her backwards into his bedroom. Her palms slid up his chest and around his neck.

  Touching him like this, at last, was surreal. Big hands moved over her lower back and gripped her ass, causing her to moan into his mouth.

  Then he was lowering her to his bed and all she could think was, “Yes, yes, yes.”

  His hips settled into the cradle of her body and he was so hard along her folds through their clothes. Slowly rocking his hips, he teased his length over her, scraping against her clit with each thrust.

  Greedily, she touched him anywhere she could reach, squeezing muscles, scratching over warm skin she’d only dreamed about for so long.

  Breaking the kiss, he moved over her jaw. “Fuck, Bailey….you feel so damn good.”

  “So do you, Hart.”

  Lifting his hand, supporting himself on the other forearm, he massaged her scalp, down her neck, lightly kneading over her shoulder. As he palmed her breast, she sighed and he smiled.

  “Just as perfect as I knew they’d be.” Nuzzling against her face, he whispered, “Smell so good. Your smell drives me fucking crazy. Watching you move. Listening to your voice.”

  Still he ground his cock over her and she knew an orgasm was embarrassingly close. Then it was there and she gasped as her body arched from the bed into his chest.

  He lifted his face to stare into her eyes and she saw the moment second thoughts of being with her entered his mind.

  “Bailey…”

  “Fuck you, Hart. Get off me.” She shoved hard at his shoulders and he looked stricken.

  As he rolled away, he tried to grab her hand. “Let me ex…”

  “Save your bullshit speech about honor. Go fuck a groupie…as usual.” She stood and straightened the gorgeous outfit she’d worn just for him. Pushing her hair back, Bailey shook her head. “I’m beginning to see that I will never be enough of a whore for you. Just like Harley will never be enough of a whore for Beck.”

  “No. Fuck…that’s not it at all, Bailey.”

  Glancing over her shoulder, she added with a shrug, “I’ll work on that, Hart. Real hard. Your fucking loss.”

  She left him staring at her in shock and walked out of the house that had always felt more welcoming than hers had, until tonight. Letting herself through her front door, she locked it, turned off the lights, and went to shower.

  Staring at the ceiling an hour later, she cried for him.

  “Fucking men. I’m so sick of this bullshit.”

  In just a couple of months, she’d be graduating and she was anxious to get on with it already. Her future was lined out and she didn’t discuss it with anyone. It was her policy not to make a big deal out of something until it was reality.

  Until then, she was going to keep her head down and work Hart Jamison out of her head.

  She would never cry over a fucking man again. Bailey Verreos might be a fool but she was also a bitch…and this bitch was done.

  Chapter Four

  Three months later…

  Bailey was heartsick after her week in North Carolina with Harley. So many tears and all she wanted to do, was fix everything. She didn’t know how and that made her feel powerless.

  Life was about to get much harder for her best friend and the people she blamed for that were waiting on the sidewalk when she pulled into her driveway after dropping Regina off. She opened the door and stood beside the car, taking them in one by one.

  All of them looked like shit and she was glad.

  She didn’t mince words. “What do you douchebags want?”

  “Bailey…,” Hart began.

  “Shut the fuck up, Hart.”

  Beck walked up the drive, approaching her carefully. “I didn’t mean to hurt Harley. I didn’t mean it, Bailey. I love her and I’m so sorry.”

  For almost a minute, she stared at the man who had wounded her friend so deeply, Bailey wasn’t certain it would ever fully heal. She saw the boy she’d always known and adored…but it wasn’t that boy who’d crushed Harley’s dreams.

  It was the fucking man.

  She slapped him as hard as she could across the face and he let her. Instant pain in her wrist made her grab it but she ignored it and leaned closer to him.

  “You have fucking destroyed her innocence, Beck. Stomped on her beautiful heart. You have no right to speak my best friend’s fucking name. She was too good for your whoring ass two years ago and she’s damn well too good for you now.”

  The tears that tracked down his cheeks didn’t affect her. He’d made his choices and he could damn well live with the consequences.

  What choices had he given Harley?

  Glancing past him, she met Dex’s eyes. “You were always the kindest of the three of you, Dex. I’m sure your moral compass ate you alive the entire time this swinging dick was dragging Harley’s heart over broken glass…and you goddamn well should have listened to it.”

  To his credit, he closed his eyes and nodded.

  Leaning into her car, she had to use her left hand to grab her purse. The other she kept close to her body to avoid bumping it.

  Hart said gently, “Bailey, I think you really hurt your wrist. Let me take you to the hospital.”

  Staring in the direction of the setting sun, Bailey took the time she needed to calm her thoughts. It wasn’t easy to speak to him. He’d caused his own share of wounds. With a deep breath, she faced him, steeling her heart against the man she loved in spite of his flaws.

  “Hart, I’m sure one day your sister will forgive you. She is beautiful and kind in ways you’ve always taken for granted. She will overlook your particular sin of leaving her vulnerable to a drug and sex addict.” Beck gasped softly beside her and she gave him a mocking smile. “It wasn’t all that hard to figure out.”

  Turning back to Hart, she met his eyes and saw his pain.

  Bailey didn’t give a fuck about his pain.

  “You sacrificed your little sister’s emotional and physical well-being for the sake of a man who was sticking his dick in anything wi
th a pulse and high all the fucking time. Over and over, I tried to warn her. Did you know that?” Hart shook his head. “I was hearing too many rumors about the three of you for them not to be true.”

  Bumping the car door closed with her hip, she stared at them.

  “Do you know what she told me? She said none of you would ever do that to her. That you’d never hurt her in such a way so the people who came to me must be wrong.”

  Stepping closer to Hart, she whispered, “One word from you or Dex would have been enough. You didn’t even have to give details. We fucking trusted you – all of you – and it turns out you’re no different from anybody else with a cock. Fucking useless.”

  “Bailey, please don’t hate me.” Hart rubbed his hand over his chest.

  “Harley will bring you back into her life one day, Hart. You’re her older brother and you’ve always been close. When that happens, I will do my best to forgive you. Today is not that day. Until then, Harley gets my loyalty and my love. Your tears don’t mean shit in comparison to hers.”

  Walking past them to the front door, she unlocked it and pushed it open. Without turning back, she thought about Harley and everything that was going to change for her. The days ahead that she was going to have to face alone.

  “What did either of us ever do to the three of you that made us so disposable? How did you turn out so selfish?” Closing her eyes, she added around the lump in her throat she refused to acknowledge, “All we ever did was love you. What a fucking mistake that turned out to be.”

  Closing and locking her door, she stood in the foyer with her back against it. They murmured together for a few minutes and finally drove away.

  Bailey bit her tongue hard enough to bleed but she didn’t fucking cry.

  * * *

  Her classes at Stanford started as summer faded. Bailey was glad to put distance between herself and her greatest weakness. It was why she chose to attend college in California.

  She talked to Harley every single day. The miles between them didn’t affect their friendship in the slightest. There was no way for her friend to hide how frightened and lonely she felt but she filled her days with endless activity to prevent too much time to dwell.

  In November, Regina warned Bailey that Hart planned to go with them to visit Harley at Thanksgiving. There was only so much one could hide from the intelligent matriarch of the Jamison family.

  “Harley is so gentle and she loves him so much. They’ll be okay if they spend some time together.”

  “Will you come with us, Bailey?”

  Swallowing hard, she replied, “I can’t, Regina. I’ll spend winter break with Harley and we’ll get our girl time handled. Besides, there will probably be a better chance of a peaceful reconciliation without my acidic personality.”

  There was a long pause and Bailey’s eyes drifted closed. “I consider you my daughter. You know that, don’t you, Bailey?”

  “Yes, ma’am, I do. I think of you as my mother.”

  “You are as important to this family as my son. Your thoughts and feelings matter to me. Is there anything I can do, Bailey?”

  Blinking rapidly against the tears she refused to let fall, she took a deep breath. “No, there isn’t anything. I think time and distance will help.”

  “He’s a fool. I hope he grows up before you find a man worthy of you.”

  Unable to speak, Bailey made a small hum that could have been interpreted in any number of ways.

  “This will be the first Thanksgiving without you since you were a baby. I’m going to miss you very much, honey.”

  “I’ll miss you, too. I love you. Hug the daylights out of Harley for me, will you?”

  “Of course and we’ll see you in a few weeks at Christmas.”

  They hung up and Bailey spent the next several minutes breathing deeply to calm her heart. Seeing Hart…being close enough to touch him…was still too hard.

  She wasn’t ready.

  * * *

  Naturally, Harley related every detail of her family’s visit before they were twenty miles away, headed home to Florida. Bailey had never felt so lonely in her life.

  “You’ll come at Christmas, won’t you, Bailey?”

  “I wouldn’t miss spending my few weeks off with you. Besides, you’re almost to the end of this thing. I have my outfit all ready to go.”

  “What…scrubs? You plan to help or something?”

  “Um, no. Yuck on the baby birthing, sweetie and scrubs make my ass look three feet wide.” She grinned. “I need to look cute in case there’s a fine ass single doctor in the house.”

  They laughed for a long time and she exhaled in relief. Bailey was glad Harley had her brother back in her life. It was important that she had as much support as possible with everything she was dealing with.

  It was time to put Hart – and what he meant to her – in a little box, seal the lid, and drop it in the nearest river.

  He was never going to see her in the same way. Holding out hope was desperate and pathetic.

  I’ll be damned if I go out like that.

  Chapter Five

  Bailey traveled to North Carolina for winter break, giddy with happiness that she and Harley had almost six weeks together before she had to return to school.

  The baby was due at the end of December and if the size of her friend’s belly was any indication, it was going to be a thirty-pounder.

  They’d tried to figure out the sex during two ultrasounds but the little thing kept its legs closed demurely so there was no way to tell. Everyone else bet on it being a boy but Bailey knew God was going to give her the gift of a little girl to spoil rotten.

  Dragging Harley out of the house was a Herculean task but Bailey always got her way.

  “I’m huge. I can’t even see my feet. Do we have to go to the mall?” Harley whined.

  “If I listen to you, we’ll be curled up in front of the television watching the Bourne Trilogy again, dressed in sweats, and stuffing our faces with takeout.” Pausing, because that sounded really damn good, Bailey shook her head. “Though Matt Damon’s fine ass is tempting, I have to shop for you and the baby, damn it.”

  “You’re still mad about the baby shower, huh?”

  “Fucking furious, bitch!”

  “Who in the hell would we have invited, Bailey? It’s embarrassing enough to be eighteen, pregnant, with baby daddy drama. I don’t want to have balloons and streamers to draw more attention. I already feel like Maury is going to pop out in front of me half the time.”

  Sighing, Bailey nodded. “Fine. I still need to buy shit. Now, go pull on those panties that can be used as boat sails in an emergency and get your ass out here.”

  “You are so fucking mean.”

  “It’s all part of my charm, sister-friend. You have three minutes. I’ll help you with your shoes.”

  “Like, no kidding, you’ll have to. The only ones I can manage myself are those ugly boots I just step into for the winter.”

  Bailey gave a dramatic shiver. “Let’s not speak of it. Those boots give me hives.”

  An hour later, after two more bathroom breaks for Harley and a quick yogurt snack, they were finally pulling into the mall.

  Where Bailey promptly lost her fucking mind buying gifts for her best friend and future niece.

  Raised middle-class, Bailey and Harley had never talked about money. Everyone in their families had always worked hard, paid bills, and took a nice vacation once or twice a year.

  What no one realized was that Bailey had been making money online for years. She started her first website at fifteen – offering fashion and makeup tips for other girls her age – and by the time she entered college, there were four additional sites.

  Her degree was another layer of legitimacy but she didn’t really need it.

  There was no one on earth she loved spending money on as much as Harley because she was the easiest person to please. Having an adorably pregnant woman follow her around stores was a unique experience.


  However, there came a point that if one more middle-aged lady put her hand on Harley’s stomach, Bailey was going to make sure she pulled back a nub.

  Personal bubble, damn.

  She made multiple trips to the car so they didn’t have to carry the haul and she of the swollen ankles would wait patiently on a padded bench.

  The time out of the house was so good for Harley. She was smiling and laughing like her old self when they decided it was time to feed her.

  “Another waddle to the bathroom,” she announced as they left the last store.

  Bailey rolled her eyes. “Stop saying you waddle. You carry that baby so pretty, girl. I’d look like a bass drum.”

  “You’re going to be adorable pregnant.”

  Bailey snorted. “I seriously doubt that. I don’t know that I’m a mom type anyway. I’m definitely an aunt type…look at this teeny tiny outfit! Oh my god!”

  Did they have to put the cutest fucking things in every window?

  Finally, they enjoyed a long lunch and she sent Harley to shower and slip on comfortable clothes when they got back to the apartment. Bailey happily brought everything in from the car.

  The day before the Jamisons were due to arrive, the two of them grocery shopped and spent the day cooking like old times.

  Clearing her throat over a sheet of cookies, she asked, “How are you doing…really, Harley?”

  “A little scared. Part of me wants to call him and I know that’s a horrible idea. I’m too emotional right now to make rational decisions.”

  “You don’t have to decide anything now. How much or how little information do you want me to give you?” There was no need to clarify to whom her friend was referring.

  “None. Not yet.” Harley tried to smile and shrugged when it was a complete failure. “I loved him…them…for so long. I guess it will take time for that to wear off. I keep hoping.”

  “I understand that well.”

  Lost in thought, neither said anything for a long time.

  Finally, Bailey shook her head. “Enough of that bullshit. Let’s put some music on and stop moping. It’s unattractive and we are two of the hottest bitches I know.”