Pushing the Envelope: A Prequel from The Barter System World Read online

  Pushing the Envelope

  A Prequel from “The Barter System” World

  Shayne McClendon

  Pushing the Envelope by Shayne McClendon

  Copyright © 2015 Shayne McClendon

  Published by Always the Good Girl LLC

  www.alwaysthegoodgirl.com

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author and publisher. This is a work of fiction.

  Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Also by Shayne McClendon

  The Barter System

  Hudson

  Backstage

  Yes to Everything

  Love of the Game – The Complete Collection

  Hart of the Matter

  Completely Wrecked

  The Hermit

  Roadside Assistance

  Just a Little – The Complete Collection

  With Alexandra Andersen

  Note from Shayne McClendon

  Oh, Tawny. How I adore you.

  When I decided to write the prequel, my first thought was, “It has to be from Tawny’s point of view…that woman is crazy!”

  I hope you love her as much as I do.

  Enjoy this peek into a character you see within other stories set in the same world.

  If you haven’t read the other books, I’ve included an excerpt of The Barter System in the back to give you a taste. I hope you’re hooked.

  Much love from my little world to yours…

  Shayne

  Pushing the Envelope

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Epilogue

  The Barter System

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  About Shayne Mcclendon

  Chapter One

  July 1999 – Deerfield Beach, Florida

  At fourteen, Tawny already gave no fucks. She didn’t care what people thought about her, there were few things she wouldn’t try at least once, and she’d heard the phrase “your poor mother” more times than she bothered to count.

  Climbing the lookout tower while she belted out her new favorite song by TLC, her best friend’s voice drifted up and blended with the sound of the wind and surf a block away. There was nothing calm about it.

  “Tawny! Tawny, if I have to call Maggie from the hospital again…”

  Choosing to ignore her wonderful – if a little stuffy – bestie, she kept climbing. Having a daughter such as herself kept Maggie young. It also prevented her mom from dwelling on the fact that she was lonely since her husband had died eight years before.

  “A scrub is a guy that thinks he’s fine…also known as a buster.”

  Panic came through loud and clear in Riya’s voice from forty feet below. “You get arrested one more time and she might let you rot in jail.”

  Now, that was just silly. She might give her mom a scare every now and then but the woman had the patience of an honest-to-god saint.

  “I don’t want no scrub…” Her flip-flopped foot slipped and she giggled at Riya’s horror movie scream.

  “Get down here! I’m not kidding!”

  Climbing over the railing at the top, she glanced down and waved at the brunette who looked ready to pass out from fear. She had that effect on her a lot.

  “It’s all good. See…” She did a little shimmy across the platform and watched as Riya crossed her arms, doing her best to look mad, when she was really just afraid.

  Sighing, Tawny mentally acknowledged that she could be somewhat trying to the people who loved her.

  One of her last memories of her father was him saying with a smile, “You’re fearless. At six, you’re already courageous. I wonder what incredible things are going to happen in your life, Tidbit.”

  She sat on the ledge and dropped her feet over the side. Riya, somewhat appeased that her friend was at least sitting, walked over to the retaining wall where they’d dropped their backpacks, took out a book, and settled down to read until her friend came to her senses.

  One day, everyone would see that Tawny had things under control.

  There were few times she did something without a damn good reason. Needing time to think, she chose the one place her best friend was afraid to go. It was a tactic she only employed when thoughts in her head threatened to bubble over.

  Normally, she loved spending all her time with Riya and her awesome parents. Archer and Dalia O’Connell were the perfect couple.

  Charming, classy, and filled with a joy of life.

  Their marriage was beyond romantic but they never made Maggie feel awkward for being by herself.

  The day Edward Ratliff stepped out of his car in the driveway, waved to his wife and daughter on the porch, and dropped dead of a heart attack was burned into the back of Tawny’s mind.

  Her mother had entered a state of shock and grief that lasted almost a year. She went through the motions, did everything expected of her, but she never laughed, she never smiled.

  Maggie and Dalia had been best friends since they were little girls. They’d grown up together in Brooklyn and never lived more than three miles apart.

  In the end, it was Dalia who brought her through it.

  She moved Maggie and Tawny into the O’Connell home, closed up the one Maggie lived in with Edward, and submerged her in happiness and laughter until her sadness began to fade. When she was strong again, Maggie returned to her home and started fresh.

  She didn’t date but she didn’t withdraw into herself. She got better and kept moving forward for her daughter.

  The two women had raised their girls together. Barely a week apart in age, Tawny and Riya had always been more like sisters.

  It was a thought that entered her mind often.

  A few hours before her climb, she’d gone looking for her birth certificate while Maggie was out of the house.

  In a locked box at the back of the master bedroom closet that was ridiculously easy to access, she hit pay dirt. With eyes wide, she flipped through photos she’d never seen.

  Photos of her mother with Archer O’Connell.

  It was the year Maggie and Dalia traveled to South Florida for Spring Break. Tawny knew it was their senior year of college because she’d seen dozens of photos of the two best friends from the same vacation.

  The way Maggie and Dalia told the story, it was the trip that changed their lives.

  “It was love at first sight,” both women liked to say.

  Archer and Edward were several years older than the young women. They were best friends and partners in the shipping business they started together.

  According to her mom, Maggie met Edward, Dalia met Archer, and they discovered they were pregnant when they returned to finish their last two months of school.

  Upon being told via letters the friends nervously wrote together, Archer and Edward flew to New York and promptly proposed.

  The couples were married in the fall and the daughters growing under the women’s elegant gowns did
n’t show.

  Riya was born in late March and Tawny on April Fool’s Day, a fact she particularly enjoyed.

  Staring at the images of her mother with Riya’s father, she understood one thing above all else.

  For Maggie, it had been love at first sight…but not for Edward. She was clearly in love with the man beside her, her green eyes bright and happy.

  There were two pictures of Maggie and Edward that she’d never seen and she could tell that her mom was struggling to form a connection with a man who was obviously enamored.

  Her smile was forced, her pose stiff, and her body language was self-conscious. Other photos she’d seen must have been taken after the ones she held. In those, Maggie was relaxed and lovely as usual.

  Nothing compared to her vibrancy in the photos with Archer but Tawny had never questioned the way she’d always known her mother to look.

  Seeing true happiness on her face, a happiness she’d hidden for her best friend, broke her daughter’s heart.

  Turning over her hand, she stared at the strange little freckle between her thumb and forefinger. It was just like the one she’d noticed on Archer O’Connell’s hand for the first time when they’d all gone boating together.

  Carefully replacing everything exactly as she’d found it, she returned to her room to wait for Riya.

  Staring out at the water behind the house, her mind in chaos, she tried to decide what to say to the person she loved most in the world.

  “I have returned! What are we doing today?”

  Uncertain, she turned and threw out her arms. “The tower…I have to climb, I must be free! Let’s go!”

  “No…damn it, Tawny! Your mom will kill you!”

  Grabbing her backpack, she left no room for discussion and took off through the house to the beach.

  The most grounded person she knew tried to talk her out of “doing something crazy” the entire way.

  Like that ever worked.

  High in the air, she stared down at Riya. Her best friend, the girl she suspected was truly her sister, and struggled with what to share, if anything.

  The salty air blew her auburn hair away from her face and she wiped at the tears she blamed on the weather.

  She didn’t want anyone to be hurt because she’d found out something they’d deliberately hidden.

  The revised story was probably that Maggie and Archer met, dated for a short enough span of time that neither of their friends were aware, and conceived Tawny.

  Then he’d met Dalia and fallen head over heels in love. There was no doubt that they were a couple deeply committed to one another, even now.

  Unfortunately, that harsh truth had left Maggie out in the cold. She’d been twenty-two, taken an uncharacteristic leap of faith, and been rejected.

  Maybe not on purpose, but rejected all the same.

  Tawny wondered what went through her mother’s mind the moment she decided to give Edward Ratliff a chance.

  When she made the decision to cast aside her feelings for Archer, give him into Dalia’s care, and change direction.

  Edward had adored Maggie.

  Tawny believed she’d loved him back. Her father either hadn’t known or hadn’t cared that Tawny wasn’t his biological child because he’d been an amazing dad while she had him.

  The sadness her mother experienced when Edward died was a testament to the love that had grown between them over more than six years of marriage.

  Each of the couples had built a foundation meant to last. Their strong bonds of friendship and love had provided a colorful environment where their children thrived.

  Archer and Dalia were blissfully happy. Memories of Edward and Maggie’s life were picturesque and referred to fondly by all of them.

  Nothing would be gained from voicing her suspicions to Riya or asking the adults in her life uncomfortable questions. In fact, it could change everything and not in a good way. The possible hurt and confusion weren’t worth the risk of satisfying her curiosity.

  For a few minutes, she concentrated on burying the knowledge she probably shouldn’t have gone looking to find. Riya always told her she kept secrets better than anyone else.

  Her doubts about her parentage would never go beyond her own mind. She made the promise to herself.

  

  Making her way back to the ground, Tawny snuck up behind a distracted Riya and goosed her with both hands under her armpits.

  The resulting blood curdling scream was totally worth the black eye her friend delivered out of reflex.

  Chapter Two

  May 2001

  Riya did not approve of the fact that Tawny had convinced an eighteen-year-old boy to relieve her of her sixteen-year-old innocence.

  Granted, she was kind of right but she was almost always right.

  Still, she’d chosen Arnie carefully and groomed him for more than a month to do the deed.

  Searching out and finding a male who was drastically different from her hadn’t been easy. Most guys were as risky and arrogant as she accepted herself to be.

  Her plan was to make sure she never got attached to her “first” like so many idiot girls did.

  If she waited, she might get caught up in the moment and give it up to some adventure junky who would give her herpes or something.

  Arnie was virginal and disease-free.

  Her mom would freak out if she knew her only child, her little girl, was taking off her clothes in a hotel room with a sweetly geeky guy who told jokes in Elven tongue.

  She’d freak about the clothes coming off, not the elf language.

  “You sure you don’t want to grab pancakes first?”

  Straightening in nothing but her bra and panties, she put her hand on her hip. “Dude…are you serious?”

  “I…I just thought you might be hungry.” His arms were crossed over his torso, sort of hugging his body.

  She took a deep breath. This was the guy who waxed poetic for three hours about his collection of Star Wars action figures and once confessed – when pressured – that he wanked off to pictures of Princess Leia.

  Patience, grasshopper.

  She’d have to baby-step him through this or she wouldn’t reach her goal of losing her pesky virginity to someone who wouldn’t leave her dead in a ditch afterward.

  Attainment of goals was the key to Tawny’s existence.

  “Remember when you told me about that Leia fantasy, Arnie? Why don’t you imagine that now?” Approaching him like a skittish stray, she slid her hands over his narrow shoulders and up his neck. “Close your eyes.”

  He hesitated, swallowed hard, and nodded.

  “Think about the princess. She was in danger and you rescued her. Like Hans Solo…”

  “Hans.” The way he said the name made her smile.

  “Yeah. Hans is strong and cocky. He’s a man’s man always ready to take a risk for the big payoff. He sees Leia in danger and he puts it all on the line, saving her from certain death. The princess is real grateful.”

  Softly, he asked, “Will you call me Hans?”

  “Sure. You can call me Leia. Keep your eyes closed.”

  “Okay…whatever you say, Princess.”

  “Exactly.”

  Then she set out to attain one of many goals she’d written in her online journal. Lose bullshit symbolism of feminine “purity” to non-starter.

  Check.

  

  Busting through the door of Riya’s room two hours later, she screamed, “I’m officially a woman!”

  Her best friend startled so badly that she fell off the other side of her bed where she’d been calmly doing homework. Tawny lived to keep her on her toes.

  With a straight face, she asked, “You okay?”

  “I’m going to have a coronary before I’m even legal.”

  Chuckling, she slammed the door and plopped on the bed, watching as Riya picked herself up.

  “You really did it?” She nodded. “Was it scary?” Tawny blinked. “Wait. It was Arnie.” />
  “There you go.”

  “Awkward?”

  She shrugged. “All Leia and Hans…easy peasy.”

  Riya stopped picking up her notebooks and assorted office supplies. Her face contorted in horror. “You pretended to be Princess Leia? Oh god, why?”

  “He was getting cold feet and I had shit to do. I’ve tagged along with him to every comic book store in twenty miles over the last month. I needed to seal the fucking deal.”

  “You collect comic books…”

  “Not the point. His are not as cool and he spends way too much time talking to the shop owners. You know people annoy me.”

  “True. Will you go out with him again?”

  “Nope. I got my ho on and now I’m done.” She glanced out the window. “It wasn’t bad but I don’t get what the big deal is, to be honest. He was nice. Real gentle and it was over in a few minutes as I planned.”

  Looking at Riya, she sighed. “Then he started calling me my own name and it freaked me out. I just wanted him to stay in character.”

  “He really likes you, Tawny.”

  “Yeah. I don’t need all that. I needed a nice nerd type to relieve me of my cherry. Hopefully, he’ll remember me twenty years from now as the best moment of his life.” She stood up and stretched. “I’m gonna go wash the whore off my body and we should go for ice cream.”

  “Random but okay.”

  

  Walking to the room in Riya’s house that had been hers for as long as she could remember, she stripped and stared fixedly at the blood inside her panties.

  “You are one crazy bitch.”

  In the shower, she realized she was tender where he’d pushed into her body. He’d whispered that he was sorry.

  Parts had felt nice and others she hadn’t understood but it would take more experience before she could make a firm determination on whether she liked sex with guys.

  When he rolled away, his breath huffing loudly, he told her, “Tawny, you’re pretty awesome.”

  “Thanks, Arnie.”

  His head turned on the pillow and he looked into her eyes with a sad smile. “That was all you needed, huh?”